A Piece of My Sweet and Bitter Life Story

- Live Love Travel -

This is a blog that I posted on facebook in May 2013 when I completed my bachelor and preparing for graduation a few weeks later. Happy reading.

First phase of being a human (Born)

My name is Roy Jekson Panjaitan, was born in the small city, Langsa on 25 May 1988. I am the 8th child of eight siblings. Born into the world and having such a great Dad and Mom is expected by everyone in a happy family, there is nothing better than that. But fortune was not in my side, born from a mother without her husband. Dad was not going to leave us forever to a different world, but he left us for not being able to control his greedy human desires. 

A baby turns into a kid

Until I was in elementary school, always wondered then where did he go? and what happened to him? I did not know how to figure out about him clearly. Did not know much about who he is! I'm tired of hearing what people said how bad he was, I was very young and did not really know what happened in my family. Friends at school always asked, where is your Dad? why he never comes to pick you up not even in our graduation after semester examination? Why always your mom came to school alone? or your siblings? For a moment I was just quiet and could not say anything, the only sentence comes out of my mouth was "he's deploying outside the city said my mother". But there was a friend at school who knew what happens in my family, and he tells everything to my friends. There were some friends don't really care about it, there were also friends who make it for fun until I cried. Was very difficult to accept it at the beginning and realize what is happening, I did not know much but I have to bear all. A boy in elementary school must be stronger to live his life and stand up. Cry was no longer a weird thing for me, as a kid playing was my medication to cheer up life.

Struggling Mother (wonder woman)

My Mother, she's a very strong woman, courageous, and responsible for her family. I do not know what to call it other than a great mother for her kids. When I was born, many people said that I was a child that was not expected and allegedly because there were 7 children already, and the gap is very close one another. The midwife who helped my mom asked to adopt me, but my Mother never want to give me to the midwife. Despite my family circumstances was very tough and rough at the time, she decided to raise me with her hands. My Dad had frequent fought with my Mother since they had the second child, and my Dad rarely came home. They've fought quite often and got back together again. My Mother was quite patient with my Dad's behavior, until the moment I was born, and it still happens, my Dad left my Mother to his another wife and never took care of us (his 8 children). My Mother raised her 8 children by her struggles, my Dad did not want to know what happened to his children and how we eat as well as schools. My Mother had to defend for us, I still remember what she had done to raise us. She planted cassava and vegetables, did grocery sales, selling fried food, and selling broom + palm sugar from one city to another city. Feeling so touched remembering our past, how this tongue accustomed to eat rice and salt or cooking oil. Some neighbors underestimated us and even some of our family did the same, only few people care about our situation. But it all does not make her passion fading away, she look forward and go forward to face any storm that comes over her. Although there were people sneering my mom, there were also a few people who give encouragement to her and salute to what she did. She remained loyal to her family and although she was abandoned by her husband who is gone and never come back, she had never thought to get married again.

Welcome to a teenager world (Junior High School)

When I was still in junior high school, I moved to Medan to get a better education. Initially it was difficult for me to live alone without family, almost every night I cried. The environment was very tough, I was not familiar with their behavior. Pretty hard to manage the perfunctory finances, my mom did not give me a lot of money... was just enough to eat at least twice in a day. Every month she sent a sack of rice and salted fish, which can last for 2-3 weeks. I can say the nutrition I had was not enough, but as long as I can eat and stomach filled, I would be so grateful and more than enough to live my life. Never crossed in my head to be cool and stylish like my other School kids. Not being naked was enough to go to school and study. In the classroom there were good friends to me, there were also underestimated me. But it's not a big deal, I get used since a kid. My childhood has taught me tough things from life experience :)

Another Stage to the next level (Senior High School)
Till the moment I had to continue the study to the next stage. Here is my first step to focus on one subject began. I no longer try to master all subjects in school, I chose to focus on one subject humiliated me when I was in junior high school. This subject was always marked in red in my semester report (this means, I got very bad score) and I am willing to fix the mistake that I did. English became my sepcial subject, was not easy for me to start from zero. Wherever I was, I always bring a small English dictionary and then spoke to myself regardless other people. I thought it was too late, it should have been done since the beginning of junior high school. But the teachers at my school said "Never late to learn", it managed to reverse the spirit that I had lost. No day without vocabulary, all my favorite song was translated (although still random mistakes). At least I had the willingness and courage, and it was worth it. I tried and struggled, my second year in high school I registered the English speech competition at school. All efforts were not in vain, I got the 3rd place among the best, and the only representative from my class. So glad to see my friends proud and pleased to see the trophy placed in our classroom. Third year in high school I followed the other competition, then I joined the Broadcast competition for Student in Medan. Actually I did not join the competition with specific intention, it was just accompany my good friend. Who forced me to try to register and join the competition. From the number of contestants and the tightness of the audition stage I made it into the top 10 finalists. Again I felt fortunate and very grateful to Almighty Lord that I believe. This was my first step into the world of work. I could make a little money from my new job to support my study and life :)

Christmas Holiday in Disaster, 26 Dec 2004

Christmas and New Year is almost here and I plan to visit my brother in Banda Aceh. He is an army who stationed in Aceh, December 23, 2004 I took bus from Medan to Banda Aceh. It was the first time I came to Banda Aceh although born and raised in Aceh. Mother did not know about my plan, only one older sister who knew about my visit to Banda Aceh. December 24th, 2004 I safely arrived in Banda Aceh and waited for quite awhile until I got to call my brother and had to figure out by myself to get to his place. We eventually met and so happy to see him again after so loong. We only got a little chance to explore Banda Aceh due to his duty. December 26, 2004 at 7 am I woke up because the bed was wobbling. I was thinking there was somebody who idly tries to wake me up. But there was nobody, everyone was busy cleaning outside. I was shocked and quickly went out the barrack. Everyone was panic outside and screaming Earthquake, they even cried. Barely think and talk but screaming out of loud. After almost an hour earthquake, Around 8:10am in the morning I heard very clear the sound of exploison several times, All of us thought that was a ceasefire on the mountain. Because conflict was still exist. Quite awhile after the exploison sound, one of my brother's military friends told me about Tsunami, he said Suriname instead of Tsunami. I think he pronounced it wrong, then I corrected him, maybe tsunami like in Japan? He said yes it is. I still remember what I said to him, it is impossible to have Tsunami here in Aceh. It only happens in Japan. Very few people knew what is Tsunami, even me. The guy who said this Suriname instead, had been gone forever, until now I still remember our conversation before the giant waves took you away! Rest in Peace. Among those thousand people, only me and my brother who survived. My family had no idea yet panic, knowing I was there with my brother. I will always remember this eternally, even when I write this note I am crying. I thank God for the blessing and Your amazing grace. I will tell you about Tsunami story in my next blog.

The moment where I experience being unemployed and an employee

High school graduation is one moment that I had been waiting for sooo long. My wish to continue study to University will remain as a wish, Mom said she had no money to pay tuition and all the expenses. A glimmer of hope foundered like a sinking ship. I decided to go back to my hometown (Langsa, East Aceh) and throw my luck in the radio station. I applied a job as radio announcer. Almost 6 months I worked at radio station, but never get a salary. I did it sincerely and take it to enrich experience. But my sister questioned and complained about my job, indeed I never get paid :). We argued so much, until one day I told her "I don't even know how I had this in my mind "I'm going to have more than what I have done here". 1 month later I move to Banda Aceh without knowing what would I do. Again and again I started looking for radio and hope I can get a job. Thank God I finally found it. Since there were so may INGOs, I applied a job application to the International Non-Governmental Organizations. One month later one of the INGO called me for an interview. Among the candidates, I was the most luckiest one or I don't know how do you call this. One and only high school graduated candidate and have no previous work experience, but chosen as the best. I was very happy and excited, screaming and thanking God. There was always a way when I am in trouble and depressed. After few years working I still wanted to continue the study to the University. Some friends of mine asked me to continue my study so then after 4 years working, my project accomplished and I got the severance. Very enough to pay my 1st year study and living cost.

Bachelor Degree Graduation, that was almost impossible to achieve

In 2009 I decided to move to Bandung no matter what would happen. How can I survive? How if I have no money in the half way? How can I get a job there? Those are common questions and surrounded my mind. Day after day, everything goes well. God still gives me ease, fortune, and chances through many ways. Everything gone well until the end of the year, I still got many job offers and had many opportunities to see places I had never been to. A dream that has been waiting for soo long eventually comes true, my Mother's and my family's hope had been answered. May 22, 2013 I received a Bachelor's degree certificate with Cum Laud. I dedicate all to you Mom, sisters, and brothers. Happy, emotion and gratitude became one. I don't know how I thank Almighty God who creates me and planned for all of this. Today I will be remembering  my Mom's efforts to her beloved children. I could be like this not because of my own efforts, but because the one who creates me, Mother, siblings, family and friends. Many things I had been gone through and faced with Mom and all seven brothers and sisters. Her spirit will never fade forever, I always see her spirit until today. Raised without a father is not a reason for me to not appreciate what I had and I experienced, none of it was wasted. Ups and downs always taught us to be a better person again. Do not make any kind of circumstances as an excuse and limitation to move forward. There is still a lot of doors to be opened and through. What I always put in my mind, but you don't have to, if you think does not work with you: 1. Believe and faith, it will exist, 2. Pray it will be given a way, 3. Give a try, you will achieve it :) Mom, I always LOVE you! I dedicate this to you.